Why "locking in" rarely works.

and how to fix it.

If you’re like me, you told yourself you needed to lock in more than a few times last year.

You decided it was time to go all in on your goals.

So you clean up your lifestyle. You begin to feel clearer. You make some progress.

You do all the right things for a few days, maybe weeks.

But then, slowly, you begin to slip back into a slump.

Procrastination creeps in and before you know it, your old habits take over.

Modern culture, hustle bros, and influencers say...

“No excuses.”
“Just work harder.”
“No days off.”

And on the surface, it sounds right. If you want better results, surely the answer is to push harder.

So when you inevitably burn out, you assume that the problem is you.

Well, I’m here to tell ya, it’s not you. It’s the strategy you’re using.

The logic behind “bad” habits

I want you to consider that every action you have ever taken in life was based on a positive intention.

Nobody does anything unless, on some level, they believe it’s going to be beneficial in some way.

That includes all the habits you deem as evil: procrastination, binge eating, smoking, scrolling, overthinking, etc.

These aren’t random acts. They are attempts to meet a core value.

Maybe procrastination gives you a feeling of relaxation.
Maybe scrolling gives you a sense of connection.
Maybe overthinking makes you feel in control.

So when you try to “lock in” by simply pushing harder, you’re fighting the behaviour without understanding the value it is trying to serve. That’s why it always comes back.

Update your strategy

The way to end this cycle is to notice why you keep doing what you want to stop doing.

What are the positive intentions behind your bad habits?

For example, perhaps you find that you procrastinate because you want to feel more relaxed.

When you uncover the positive intention behind the behaviour, the next step is to update the strategy without rejecting the value.

Instead of simply trying to stop procrastinating, you ask:

If procrastination is my attempt at relaxation, what’s the more productive way to relax?

Maybe it’s daily meditation. Or making art with no end goal. Or taking a power nap in the middle of the day.

The point is: replace the unproductive strategy with a healthy, intentional one.

To apply this, try the following exercise:

Exercise:

1. Write down your “bad habits.”

2. For each habit, ask yourself: What’s the core value that I’m trying to serve with this behaviour?

3. Finally, ask yourself: What’s a healthy way to meet this value?

Bringing it together

The main takeaways from this letter:

• Every action you take is done with positive intent, even the ones you label as “bad.”

• Instead of trying to force yourself not to do the thing, ask yourself: What value is it trying to serve?

• You don’t need more discipline. You need better strategies for meeting your values.

• Sustainable progress comes from working with yourself, not fighting yourself.

When you get clear on what values your bad habits are serving, you can adjust your strategy so you still get the benefit, just in a healthier way.

This is when you stop sabotaging your own growth, because you finally stopped fighting who you are.

Give it a try, you’ll be surprised by the difference it makes.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. If you’d like my help with creating a life purpose in order to do work that feels like an extension of yourself, I have an upcoming cohort which starts Jan 31st. Check it out here.