Thanks for this post! I really like the first question. It reminds me of a podcast episode I listened to where Vanessa Van Edwards was being interviewed and she recommended asking people, "Are you working on anything exciting these days?" She said it was a great way to connect and understand what people value, and also a fantastic alternative to the often annoying "so what do you do?" question we often default to when meeting new people. I'll drop the link of the episode here in case you're interested :)
Thanks for reading Raven. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Love the question about excitement. Much more thought provoking. I'll check out the podcast, seems very interesting. :)
Connecting with people doesn't have to be hard. I've found it takes being genuinely curious in learning about others. Like, you've got to want to know more about them, not for selfish reasons but to truly understand how they think and feel.
Samuel, these are great and provocative questions. I appreciate you sharing them and also sharing your own journey as an introvert who really wants to grow and meet other people. These will be helpful to so many folks I plan to share them.
Exactly. You learn so much about a person when you get a window into their past present and future. And you're welcome. Thank you for reading and commenting Gustavo.
Great questions! However many people that don’t know you are not used to being asked such questions from strangers and might find it strange and might not even know how to answer. I’ll give it a try, curious to see if any of them works without creating some sort of awkwardness of “why are you asking such deep questions we just met” 😂 I’d definitely give them this look if I was asked any of those questions.
Haha yeah I get that. It's good to have a bit of "warm up chatting" before asking these questions. But i've found people are mostly very happy to be asked these questions, (even very quickly after meeting) because its rare. It's so different from the usual small talk they are used to. Let me know how it goes.
I feel like I can tailor them for my job too. I am a consultant in optimization and I help manufacturers improve their production schedules. What do you think about this version :
1. What do you like about the state of your production schedules right now ? We want to harness that and use it as a good foundation for the future.
2. What’s a lesson you’ve learned that changed how you see the scheduling of operations ? You know your environment better than I do, we should use your expertise.
3. What do you want to achieve in the next 3-6 months in your production ? We will also talk longer time goals, but let's focus on short terms and see what we can quickly make possible.
You're welcome. Tailoring these questions for who you are talking to is a great way to make them even more impactful. Thank you so much for reading and for sharing this insight.
These are great questions because they are all forward thinking. Focusing on desires, dreams, curiosities, and what brings us joy. Is there really anything else you want to discuss? Thanks for the ideas Samuel.
Great questions Samuel. I am an introvert too, always preferring my own company or just a few close friends. I never used to talk to anyone but now I strike up conversations wherever I can and I love it. A great question I heard asked was ‘What kind of person would you say you are?’ It’s good because it encourages the other person to say something nice about themselves. Hopefully anyway!
Damn this reminds me of...me haha I actually used to be so social, and working at a resort even pushed it further to the point that I got so drained that it wasn't just something I wanted to do but also had to do. Eventually I ended up staying away from that world and now it seems I have been avoiding conversations with tourists in my travels. Instead, I connect through observation and just talking with locals. These basic questions you laid out are really impactful that even in the simplest form we tend to forget how to just be in the moment.
I’m just starting to lean into more intentional communication and personal growth, so this came at such a good time. I loved the three questions you shared...not just for connecting with others, but because I found myself actually pausing to answer them for me. It made me slow down and check in with where I’m at, which I don’t do often enough. thank you
You're so welcome. And you're right, they are great questions to ask ourselves as well. It's important to have those periodic check-ins on ourselves. Thanks for sharing your insight, it's a great addition. :)
Thanks for this post! I really like the first question. It reminds me of a podcast episode I listened to where Vanessa Van Edwards was being interviewed and she recommended asking people, "Are you working on anything exciting these days?" She said it was a great way to connect and understand what people value, and also a fantastic alternative to the often annoying "so what do you do?" question we often default to when meeting new people. I'll drop the link of the episode here in case you're interested :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHUrdELKjDw&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO
Thanks for reading Raven. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Love the question about excitement. Much more thought provoking. I'll check out the podcast, seems very interesting. :)
Connecting with people doesn't have to be hard. I've found it takes being genuinely curious in learning about others. Like, you've got to want to know more about them, not for selfish reasons but to truly understand how they think and feel.
You got it 100%. That genuine curiosity is key. It can't be faked.
Samuel, these are great and provocative questions. I appreciate you sharing them and also sharing your own journey as an introvert who really wants to grow and meet other people. These will be helpful to so many folks I plan to share them.
Glad to hear that JD! Thanks for reading.
These questions make sense. We’re basically asking about their present, their past, and their future.
Thanks for sharing.
Exactly. You learn so much about a person when you get a window into their past present and future. And you're welcome. Thank you for reading and commenting Gustavo.
I like these tips. I do a lot of networking, and I look forward to using some of these questions. Thanks!
They are great for networking. Thanks for reading, Mark.
Great questions! However many people that don’t know you are not used to being asked such questions from strangers and might find it strange and might not even know how to answer. I’ll give it a try, curious to see if any of them works without creating some sort of awkwardness of “why are you asking such deep questions we just met” 😂 I’d definitely give them this look if I was asked any of those questions.
Haha yeah I get that. It's good to have a bit of "warm up chatting" before asking these questions. But i've found people are mostly very happy to be asked these questions, (even very quickly after meeting) because its rare. It's so different from the usual small talk they are used to. Let me know how it goes.
Thank you for this ! These are great questions.
I feel like I can tailor them for my job too. I am a consultant in optimization and I help manufacturers improve their production schedules. What do you think about this version :
1. What do you like about the state of your production schedules right now ? We want to harness that and use it as a good foundation for the future.
2. What’s a lesson you’ve learned that changed how you see the scheduling of operations ? You know your environment better than I do, we should use your expertise.
3. What do you want to achieve in the next 3-6 months in your production ? We will also talk longer time goals, but let's focus on short terms and see what we can quickly make possible.
You're welcome. Tailoring these questions for who you are talking to is a great way to make them even more impactful. Thank you so much for reading and for sharing this insight.
These are great questions because they are all forward thinking. Focusing on desires, dreams, curiosities, and what brings us joy. Is there really anything else you want to discuss? Thanks for the ideas Samuel.
Wow! This will definitely turn any conversation worth it.
Thnaks for the questions! I will try them at the next networking event 💯
A nice read for an introvert like me, someone who’s always been comfortable on her own but is also curious about trying things that extroverts enjoy.
Glad to hear that Charlee! Thanks for reading!
Great questions Samuel. I am an introvert too, always preferring my own company or just a few close friends. I never used to talk to anyone but now I strike up conversations wherever I can and I love it. A great question I heard asked was ‘What kind of person would you say you are?’ It’s good because it encourages the other person to say something nice about themselves. Hopefully anyway!
Love that one Sue! Thanks for sharing. :)
love this -- I also like:
"what's good?"
"anything exciting that you're working on?"
and if you want to get deep:
"where's your heart?!"
Nice additions. I really like "anything exciting that you're working on?"
Gets straight to the good stuff :)
Damn this reminds me of...me haha I actually used to be so social, and working at a resort even pushed it further to the point that I got so drained that it wasn't just something I wanted to do but also had to do. Eventually I ended up staying away from that world and now it seems I have been avoiding conversations with tourists in my travels. Instead, I connect through observation and just talking with locals. These basic questions you laid out are really impactful that even in the simplest form we tend to forget how to just be in the moment.
Thanks for sharing that Astrid. I also love talking with locals on my travels. It helps me understand the country/city i'm visiting so much better.
Thank you. This will be very interesting to try.
Glad to hear that :)
I’m just starting to lean into more intentional communication and personal growth, so this came at such a good time. I loved the three questions you shared...not just for connecting with others, but because I found myself actually pausing to answer them for me. It made me slow down and check in with where I’m at, which I don’t do often enough. thank you
You're so welcome. And you're right, they are great questions to ask ourselves as well. It's important to have those periodic check-ins on ourselves. Thanks for sharing your insight, it's a great addition. :)